Our Kingdom for a Horse

Ah, the stomach, the internal workings of the body's natural flow.

There are no countries of the world, it seems, other than the Republic of Saint Plotniko, where fiber is part of the diet, where natural foods are even part of the National Discussion, much less available to be consumed. White Rice. Roll. More White Rice. 'nuther roll. How 'bout some o' that White Rice?

After being in Guatemala for several weeks, Plotnik and Ducknik's digestive systems were -- let's use an analogy. Imagine the starting gate at Belmont Park. The horses are all in the gate. The fans are cheering. The race is ready to begin. They count down to three: One, Two, THREE!...oh, four. Five? Eleven. Twenty two thousand and nine. Seventeen million and sixty two -- OPEN THE DAMN GATE FAWGODSAKE. That clear enough for ya?

Upon returning to Organic Valley, the horses took off. Oi, the last few days have been interesting, to say the least.

NOW, however, it's back to Square One. Plotnik and Ducknik are driving down to see Mummy Plotnik in Stiletto City for the weekend. The woman lives on Imitation Margarine and Fibro-Lax tablets. God help us.