Fifty Five Bucks for Olfactory Peace

This morning, The Great Plotnik heard of a novel Christmas present:

"Donate to Carbonfund.org and you can offset a friend's carbon emissions for a whole year. For a tax-deductible donation of just $55 you'll neutralize all your friend's global-warming gases -- that includes CO2 emitted by driving, flying, and heating or cooling a home."

Plotnik's first thought was: if anyone puts this under Plotnik's tree, they're dead.

Upon further reflection, however, the part about neutralizing your friends' (or family's) global-warming gases is not such a bad idea, especially when the entire family is arriving in Saint Plotniko this weekend to celebrate the Birth of the Holy Child.



Plotnik has finished his Christmas shopping the way he always does. He looks at all the things he has purchased and tossed in a big bag in the Hiding Spot, realizes he has blown it for the umpteenth year in a row, and then says "Aw, but they already know I love them."