Got to Have Yo Mama

Last night, The Great Plotnik broke his rule about frozen fish. He bought a package of frozen Japanese scallops from Trader Joe's, several bunches of broccoli rabe from Rainbow and made a romesco sauce out of almonds, tomatoes, roasted peppers and garlic. The plate went like this: romesco under rabe under seared scallops under more romesco. Brown saffron rice went around the edges and a Rosenblum Syrah topped it all off.

Not counting the wine, it really wasn't worth the effort. Frozen fish just don't have any natural Yo Mama left. Now, TGP has a pint of fresh romesco and more broccoli rabe. He also didn't cook all the scallops and he ain't gonna. He may just go bury them in the garden for R.L. Pussycat.

This morning's food section contains a feature on Fried Chicken. They left out the Hard Knox Cafe, which invalidates the entire issue; still, the featured chef was talking about his secrets: buttermilk and brining. But Chef Pickle has been talking about buttermilk and brining fried chicken for years, plus -- of course -- a hefty serving of Yo Mama.

You got to have the Yo Mama, Her Mama, Somebody's Mama, or food just doesn't taste right. The freezer is where Yo Mama goes to die. Pickle believes you can bring her back with enough duck fat, but Plotnik isn't so sure. He remembers his relatives, many of whom had their lives shortened on the staple Eastern European diet of chicken fat and chopped liver. Not one of them made it past 104.

He went to bed thinking about that romesco sauce. The truth is -- he doesn't like romesco. It's 'way too bland. Spanish food does not float Plottie's boat. Ham, ham, ham, ham and octopus. Nobody's Mama.

Cortez came to Mexico because he was sick of ham and octopus. When he was done plundering and pillaging he found chiles, tomatoes and chocolate. Almost gives plundering a good name.

Plottie woke up this morning thinking about tacos.

Yes, the blog listing you are reading just ended. Yet, here is a coda: Did you know President Bush hates scallops? Plot just read this from the New York Daily News:

"President Bush hates scallops, but former White House chef Walter Scheib says the humble mollusks shouldn't be blamed for his ouster from the First Family's kitchen..."

Apparently Chef Scheib insisted on serving Bush scallops, until they canned him. Now, this man has soul. Maybe even Yo Mama.