Hanky in Print, then BULLETIN: FiveHead Hurts Knee!!

Hanky Girl and Beth S, two Tiapos emerita -- emeritae? emeritases? emeritachapitas? you know, ladies who are graduates of Tiapos, ended up in Leah Garchik's column yesterday, sounding just like they always do -- intelligent and loony, like the rest of us. Congratulations! Plotnik is searching right now for an old photo. OK, it's blurry. Hanky didn't eat the whole pie.

BULLETIN!! EXTRA!! EXTRA!!

Meanwhile, two other people, one of whom Plotnik has been getting ready to worship, and the other whom everybody merely loves to death, have very recently had knee accidents. The Lakers' center Andrew Bynum's knee will heal, but he's the least of it. Yesterday afternoon The Great FiveHead slipped on one of J-Belly's toys and slammed her knee into the living room sofa. Result: paramedics hauling her down their stairs, a kneecap dangling on the side of her leg and three hours of agony while she and PD waited, 5H moaning on a gurney in the hall, for someone at Kaiser to pop the kneecap back in.

Bynum is out for two months but FiveHead is tougher, plus her knee is smaller so there is less to have to heal. We'll know more today when she gets back from Dr. Ligament. She sounds great -- and the encouraging news is it doesn't really hurt that badly now and there is little swelling. At least that's their story.

The problem is Plotnik would say the exact same thing to Mummy Plotnik if it had happened to him. In fact, it has. And he has lied with the same grace. Hopefully she really isn't in too much pain.

Where was J-Belly, the toddler formerly known as Baby Isabella? Asleep. She slept through the whole thing.