How Goofy? This Goofy. And Peace in 2008.

OK, so here's how the old glasses look. Plus, they weigh a ton. Plotnik wore them for years before he got his new lighter frames. When he first started wearing the old ones, his nose was cute and perky like Sandra Dee's.



HAPPY NEW YEAR! Above is how it looked from the Upper Viewing Promontory at Great Plotnik World Headquarters last night. Below is how it looks in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, where Grandma Joy lives. She sent us this photo a few days ago.



There is nothing more beautiful than the season's first big snow. But BOY does it get old fast. Plotnik remembers the frozen nose hairs.

But let him repeat: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Plotnik and Ducknik made it all the way to the New Year last night, at least somewhere, probably halfway to Denver from Kansas City. By Saint Plotniko midnight they were sawing logs.

But not the whole night. During their long winter's nap, they discovered that Mischief grooms himself all night long by slurping each foot. It's loud! Schlllllurp! Schlllllllllurrrpppp! No wonder he sleeps all day. But you've gotta love him.

Last night's dinner was supposed to be pizza, but starts with an M has gone out of business, Gianula's wasn't open and choice three (Little Star) was also not open. Fortunately, across the street from Little Star on Divisadero is Lilly's Rib Shack. Plotnik and Ducknik and Mischief ate their way through a full order of small end ribs, a half order of hot links, slaw and beans.

On New Year's Eve there are MANY SHOWS IN HD and all of them STINK. HBO (it's a total waste so far, kids) was showing nothing but Entourage. There was a LAW AND ORDER marathon on TNT. Even in HD, Sam Watterston is a pompous ass.

So, as the ball was dropping in the Shmapple (on TV), Plottie called Mummy P and wished her Happy New Year. BZ was probably in the Times Square crowd somewhere. PD, 5H and Toddler Belly are somewhere in Mexico out of telephone range (this is what you can do when you haven't spent your every penny to buy a house), so the only member of their family within huggable range was Mischief. He tolerated several hugs, thinking: "Another rib bone could come my way. Yes. I may be dim, but yes. Another rib bone. It could happen."

It's sunny today, beautiful if chilly, in the 26th of October Street Heights district of Saint Plotniko. The Great Plotnik raises his mighty, bicep-heavy arms and says: Peace, my children. Let us all work this year to make it happen.