Nine More Months of This

If Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney had a love child, it would probably be Will Durst. Most Bay Area comedy fans know about him -- he's an old line pundit who tells jokes about politicians. He skewers everyone evenly, though probably, since they are providing most of the fodder for absurdity these days, Republicans will take the most humor abuse.

But here's Plot's problem: it's March 10 and the election is not until November 6. There are nine months until then. But the crap is just starting. If we think we've heard ludicrous people saying ludicrous things already, wait until summer.

Plotnik is all done. Finito. He wants to fly to Kiribati or somewhere there are no televisions and come back the day after Obama is re-elected, and be done with it.

So all you comedians can make more tired jokes about Gingrich's hair or his wives, or Romney and the dog on the roof or Santorum and birth control or Ron Paul - what? Are there any jokes about Ron Paul?

You can make jokes about Obama being too centrist or trying too hard to appease the Tea Party. You can make jokes about Iran and Israel. You can make jokes about southerners. You can find humor in everything, but it's only Saturday and Plotnik isn't laughing now and he won't be laughing until November 7, even if it's only relief that the robocalls will have stopped.

All you political satirists, if you get booked into the Ka-Chong Beachside Inn and Barbeque Pit on Kiribati, call me.

Many thanks to seven year old cartoonist Linus Van Pelt for this rendering.