How to Replace Old, Rotten Stairs

First you call Mike Schwartz. This is the most important part. Yes, it's true, a carpenter named Schwartz.

Then you rip the old, rotten stairs out. That was last week. You go to the lumberyard and buy new wood, gasping at the price of one piece of redwood, let alone a dozen, plus pressure treated risers, clips and wood preservative. That was also last week.

Next, you have your meeting.

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Then you watch Mike use a power saw with his own thigh as a brace. This could be Kaiser's new logo. There is no book on carpentry that doesn't tell you to NEVER NEVER use a power saw this way, but every carpenter Plotnik has ever seen does it just like this. They also put wood in the saw guard to block it, so the power saw can more easily sever their femural artery.

(And yet, carpenters most of the time go home in the afternoon with the same amount of limbs and digits that they had when they showed up at work that morning. They lose eyes and teeth in bar fights, but practically never screw up with that saw.)









Next, Mike figures out the angle for the stair risers and scribes the first piece of 2 X 12. Your job was to help him get the lumber off the truck, though you watch very carefully, so next time, before you call Mike, you will be able to assume the same restful,  though helpful, position against the fence.

You get to paint the copper green on all newly cut surfaces.

 

Give a carpenter a hammer and a level and he can build anything. Also, cool pro-grade power tools. More on that in a moment.

Mike attaches the first redwood stair and then you use his MAKITA 18-VOLT VERY SMALL cordless screw gun (Birthday Present Alert, ahem ahem) (MOM knows what it looks like) (NOT the old, blue one with the very heavy battery, but the new LIGHT one with the tiny battery) to screw the clips into the stairs, while nailing the clips into the risers. (For further information on screw gun, you may phone home.)

Before you know it, you're done.