The Great Plotnik

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Right On, Woody

To quote Woody Allen from the Sunday NYT:

"...There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you. For instance, I would not like to survive a stroke and for the rest of my life talk out of the side of my mouth like a racetrack tout. I would also not like to go into a coma, to lie in a hospital bed where I'm not dead but can't even blink my eyes and signal the nurse to switch the channel from Fox News.

"...Worse than death, too, is to be on life support listening to my loved ones in a heated debate over whether to terminate me and hear my wife say: 'I think we can pull the plug. It's been 15 minutes and we'll be late for our dinner reservation."

"What worries me most is winding up a vegetable -- any vegetable, and that includes corn."


The Great Plotnik has to agree with Woody, especially the first two sentences. Who in the world ever convinced us that going to the movies, instead of watching the film from your comfy couch, was a pleasurable experience? Are you nuts?

We went to see "Lincoln." We got there 15 minutes early, and were bombarded by incredibly violent and stupid ads, which are bigger and louder and 'way worse than TV and you can't turn off the volume. And these were just the ads. Then the previews began: six of them, indistinguishable from each other and from the ads. And then the disclaimers and requests for the patrons to turn off their cell phones, but first, for a special prize, tune in those cell phones to some website for more ads. Also, would the audience refrain from loud conversation, farting and the use of firearms.

The Great Plotnik agrees with the part about loud conversation. And he has NEVER used a firearm at the movies. Too bad they didn't give that request before the show started at Ford's Theater.

Going to the movies does get you out of your house, but so does foreclosure.


At 4:42 PM, Blogger notthatlucas said...

Ha ha ha - I really do not like going to the movies any more. But somewhere I read about a theater that just shows the movie - no ads, no previews; that might be something to see.


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