Baseyborr

OK, so the worst that can happen happens: the Cardinals and Giants win and will play each other for the championship. The Plotzers underachieve again and are through for the year.

Plot hates the Cardinals. The Giants -- well he hates them much more, it's visceral, it's primal, he's hated them since he was thirteen. He's only hated the Cardinals since 2012.

Worse, only one of those teams can lose. The best that could happen would be for whoever loses to be miserable, and then whoever advances to the World Series to become suicidal when thumped in four by the Kansas City Oriole Baltimore Royals.

But that's not enough. Not nearly enough.

If Plotnik were to count up the hours he spent watching Plotzer games on MLB-TV this season, he would come to two conclusions:

1) He really enjoyed watching those games.
2) He needs to get a life.

Also:

1) You can't beat the Giants enough. You can whup them during the year but if you don't get a chance to whup them in the playoffs it doesn't mean anything.

2) This mixed marriage thing sucks. A Giant fan. Jeez.

3) If that deplorable orange and black beats the Cards and gets to the World Series, Plotnik will be as far from here as an airplane can take him, preferably somewhere they use chopsticks and have no newspapers and the government has canceled the internet and no one on the street ever heard of baseyborr.