The Great Plotnik

Wednesday, October 08, 2014


OK, so the worst that can happen happens: the Cardinals and Giants win and will play each other for the championship. The Plotzers underachieve again and are through for the year.

Plot hates the Cardinals. The Giants -- well he hates them much more, it's visceral, it's primal, he's hated them since he was thirteen. He's only hated the Cardinals since 2012.

Worse, only one of those teams can lose. The best that could happen would be for whoever loses to be miserable, and then whoever advances to the World Series to become suicidal when thumped in four by the Kansas City Oriole Baltimore Royals.

But that's not enough. Not nearly enough.

If Plotnik were to count up the hours he spent watching Plotzer games on MLB-TV this season, he would come to two conclusions:

1) He really enjoyed watching those games.
2) He needs to get a life.


1) You can't beat the Giants enough. You can whup them during the year but if you don't get a chance to whup them in the playoffs it doesn't mean anything.

2) This mixed marriage thing sucks. A Giant fan. Jeez.

3) If that deplorable orange and black beats the Cards and gets to the World Series, Plotnik will be as far from here as an airplane can take him, preferably somewhere they use chopsticks and have no newspapers and the government has canceled the internet and no one on the street ever heard of baseyborr.


At 2:04 PM, Blogger notthatlucas said...

In the last five years, it has been either the Giants or the Cards representing the NL in the World Series. That really kind of shocks me, but mostly the Cardinals bit; I don't see them as any kind of a dynasty or even a troubling team. I have no idea how the Dodgers failed to do better against them. [cough Brian Wilson cough cough]

I'm not buying the Giants hatred bit at all. I suspect if we looked at your browser history we would find you have been lingering over whose jersey to buy - Posey or Pence. Or one of the Brandons.

You are a baseball guy (especially when the NBA is still slumbering) and will be watching the games as always. And we all know you need another Cha Cha Bowl. Go to a game or two. You know you really want to. (You don't have to wear a panda hat, but you know you want to do that too.)

Go Giants. Make the west proud.

At 3:21 PM, Blogger The Fevered Brain said...

I hear the weather is nice in North Korea at this time of year.

At 8:18 PM, Anonymous Cousin Seattle said...

Got that plane ticket to North Korea? You could hitch a ride with Dennis Rodman.


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