A Number Five

The Great Plotnik was feeling ill. He scrolled over to Medscape. In Medscape he read headlines like these: Avian Flu Virus Mutating, Posing Bigger Threat
Asthma May Be an Independent Risk Factor for Invasive Pneumococcal Disease
Rotavirus Vaccine May Cut the Rate of Severe Gastroenteritis in Half
Rifaximin Prophylaxis May Be Indicated for Traveler's Diarrhea
Noncardiac QTc-Prolonging Drugs May Increase Risk of Sudden Cardiac Death.

Now The Great Plotnik felt really sick. He wished he had never subscribed to those cockamamie scrolls. To feel better he needed a sandwich. He made himself a Number Five. A Number Five contains knoblewurst, knackwurst, pastrami, roast beef, corned beef, brisket of beef, meatloaf, chunks of goulash, Nova Scotia lox, cream cheese, tomato, one-half of a roast chicken, the other half of a fried chicken, chopped liver, schmaltz herring, whitefish, redfish, smoked fish, stuffed derma, kreplach, a large turkey leg and half a pound of boiled lungen, all on a buttered bialy with deli mustard, brown mustard, Russian Dressing, Prussian Dressing, Lithuanian Dressing, Turkish Dressing, a little Milani's 1890 and a half-sour, plus a side of Macaroni Salad. When you're feeling peckish, there's nothing quite like a Number Five.