Plotzketballers

Plotzketballers
Originally uploaded by thegreatplotnik.

The Great Plotnik's game of plotzketball has been going on weekly for more than 20 years at James Plotz Middle School. Most of the players are between 30 and 40 and between 5' 8" and 6' 3". Weight is another matter -- the game has a few large S.U.V.s, some tractor trailers and a mumbo jumbo or two. Still, as in most long lasting pickup games, no one is too big, no one is too small, no one is too old, no one is too young, and, most of all, no one is too good.

Until this morning. One of the players brought along a High School Junior he has been coaching. The kid is 6' 9" and has long arms and huge hands. Worse, he has been schooled. He's very good already, miles and miles out of the class of any of the James Plotz plotzketballers. Worse yet, he's only 17 years old.

So what happened? The team with him on it realized the advantage they had. Everytime they came down the court they threw the ball high up in the air, and the kid jumped up, caught it, held it in one hand a mile over everyone's head, and then turned around and laid it in the basket. On defense, everytime the other team tried to shoot, the kid would stick up his long arms, block the shot and catch it in his other hand.

You can teach everything in plotzketball, but you can't teach height. It points out the wisdom of the famous quote by Magic Johnson, when he was describing the best way to play defense: "Stay low, bend your knees, and when you straighten up make sure you're 6' 10".