Smokeland to Spermbank

Flying in airplanes is an unpleasant task. But if you choose to do so, it's far nicer if you can fly off-hours, and from small airports. A one hour flight from Saint Plotniko to Stiletto City is an exercise in paranoid schizophrenia, but the same flight from Smokeland to Spermbank is simple and without tension.

Spermbank Airport is one of Plotnik's favorites, because you disembark the plane from the front and rear, like stomach flu, then walk out onto the tarmac and into the airport, instead of trudging through a covered runway. It's nice to fly, then land and feel the real ground under your feet. Of course, you can't do this in the snow, but it never snows in Spermbank.

People in Spermbank bought their houses thirty years ago for greatly discounted prices, because they were under the airport landing pattern and it was TOO LOUD! WADD'YA SAY? I SAID IT'S TOO LOUD! You'd have to be stone deaf to live there, or have a family of teenage drummers. Now they're suing the city because it's TOO LOUD, I CAN'T HEAR YA, I SAID IT'S REALLY REALLY LOUD! DIDN'T YOU REALIZE IT'D BE THIS LOUD WHEN YOU BOUGHT THE HOUSE? WADD'YA SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YA!

You have to be crazy to live in Spermbank. But it's a million times nicer than Stiletto City International, where it snows soot.