The Christmas Music Door Slams Shut

Plotnik got all the way to yesterday at 10:30AM before his Christmas Music Door slammed shut. He was standing in Trader Joe's staring at the shredded wheat when some soul singer decided to scat her way through yet another version of En Belafontis Dayo, and Plotnik couldn't stand it any more. "Shut your F---ing Mouth!" he exploded, at the shredded wheat, before he realized what he'd just said. Then he began apologizing, to the crunchy wheats and the healthy bran and all the people who were staring at him. "I'm sorry," he said. "I've just had it with Christmas music. I made it this far."

Once he said that, everyone knew he wasn't a crazy person, and smiled and nodded and went about their business.

Plotnik only heard 'It Must Have Been the Mistletoe' once, though that's probably because he managed to stay out of malls.