The Great HypochondriPlot

The Great HypochondriPlot needs to stop reading articles that begin: "Prior studies and a systematic review of large, randomized trials have shown that percutaneous coronary intervention (PCI) in the acute phase of myocardial infarction (MI) is superior to thrombolytic therapy (TT)."

Articles like these make him wonder if there isn't something new he should be worrying about? Like, if he should ever suffer, like, MI, would they give him PCI or TT? I mean, clearly, like PCI is, like, you know, better, right?...that is, if TT isn't, you know.

The article goes on: "It was an open-label, 1:1 study that randomized patients to either full-dose full-dose tenecteplase (TNK-tPA) plus PCI (facilitated PCI) or to primary PCI with unfractionated heparin."

Well, duh. It's, like, SO hella obvious.

The article concludes: "Time intervals, place of enrollment, and lower than expected reperfusion rates in the facilitated-PCI group provide some insight into the results of this study" and then there's something about fibrinolysis.

Plotnik isn't even sure what he's supposed to worry about here. He spent half an hour digesting an article he doesn't understand, AFTER he spent an hour plodding through Japanese writing that he can't read.

And anyway, as far as the medical article goes, there probably wasn't one person of the 38 gathered at the Plotnik family Thanksgiving table who couldn't have spoken conclusively about MI and TT and PCI, IF we all hadn't been chortling 'til milk came out our nostrils about Larry David and the seder and the sex offender.