Should the Orgasmatron be Hi Def?

It's the $1 and $5 Bills' Birthday Weekend. There are Sales. Plotnik and Ducknik have to face the music. It's time to join the 21st Century. Their 20-year old Magnavox TV is dying. The DVD component of their VCR-DVD player is dead. What's left is the VCR.

Truth be told, this weekend they've watched 'Eight Mile' and 'Latcho Drome," both on VHS and both very fine movies, especially the Andalusian segment at the end of Latcho Drome. If you want to hear a singer with cojones, do check out the Gypsy woman at the end of this film. Hooo-Waa.

Yeah, but...shopping? For electronics? On a holiday? What deeper levels of Hell can there be?

And also, what pieces should the Plotniks purchase? Is there any point to HD-TV? I mean, the screen and picture are sharper. So?

There is a Magnavox 27" VCR-DVD-TV combo on sale at Squirtbutt City. It sounds cool...but what if the DVD player goes out on the combo? Do you have to take the whole TV into the shop? Of course you do.

The Plotnik family has always been 10 years behind the tech curve. He remembers poopooing personal computers. He remembers being forced by a collaborator to try word processing on a script they were writing. It took five minutes to realize what a life altering invention this was.

Same with cell phones. "Oh, I can always use a pay phone."

Same with cable modem. "Dial Up is perfectly fine for me!"

Same with the I-Pod. Now he can't imagine driving anywhere without listening to 18 hours of "Washington's Crossing."

Same with the Orgasmatron. How does anybody live without an Orgasmatron?

But HD-TV? Plotnik is willing to listen to anyone's comments, but, though he feels like a perfect Druid to say this (funny, he doesn't LOOK Druidish) -- what's the point?