Stocks and Venture Capital for Frances

The Great Plotnik's friend J-A came from a lot of money. When Plot and Duck were struggling to pay their rent, J-A and his wife lived in high style. J-A was rather morose, though. Once, Plotnik asked his friend if always having plenty of money wasn't in itself somewhat of a curse. J-A said "Actually, if I had to choose between being rich and being poor, I'd take rich."

Would we live radically differently if money were no object? Everyone has a different answer. It comes down to what gives you the most pleasure. To many people, the act of paying a lot of money for something -- to know that they can -- is the most pleasurable part of the experience.

Once, Plotnik was writing a review of a fancy winery on the Silverado Trail, where their special new vintage went for $150 a bottle. Their other wines sold in the $20-$40 range, still a lot of money for a bottle of wine as far as Monsieur le Plotnique was concerned.

So he tasted all the wines, bottom to top. To him, the $40 wine, which had a mellow finish, tasted far better than the $150 wine, which was brittle and acidy. The $20 wine was close behind the $40 wine. But the $150 wine came in a very chic bottle with a beautiful label. It was already the winery's biggest seller. Plotnik swore he could see the winery executives chuckling over their Bud Lites in the back room.

But that's because The Great Plotnik came from Mummy Plotnik, who came from Grammie and Grampie Plotnik, all of whom lived through the Great Depression. People from that generation cannot spend money. They can't. They can't even get pleasure from it -- selling pencils on the street corner and soup kitchens are still burnt into their memories.

The Late Great Chief-nik left Mummy Plotnik with plenty of money. But she still likes shopping with her friend at the $1 Store.

When PD and BZWZ were kids, they loved the Russell Hoban 'Frances' series, about a cute little girl badger named Frances. Frances had a friend named Albert. Albert had the annoying habit of bringing the same lunch to school every day: a hard boiled egg, a sandwich and a little container of salt. He would always take one bite of sandwich, one bite of egg and put one shake of salt on the egg. The idea was that the sandwich, the egg and the salt all had to come out even.

This may be how The Great Plotnik feels about money. He wants to take care of his children, live to 104, and have his very last cent be spent tipping the waitress who brings him his last latte. Life and money should all come out even, just like Albert the Badger-nik said.