Back in the Shmapple

The Big Shmapple:

1) Sight: The streets are narrower and the buildings are taller. It's like being at the bottom of a canyon of commerce. Hucksters are on the ground level giving away come-ons, while billboards thirty floors high compete for your disposable income. A bottle of fizzy water in a restaurant costs $7. That's a few pennies per bubble.

2) Smell: cigarette smoke, grilled hot dogs, greasy zeppole, bus exhaust, the patina of tension. It smells like home.

3) Sound: If 0 is silence, then the basic amp setting for Manhattan is 8. Trucks, taxis, buses, trains underground, planes overhead, people shouting into cell phones in many languages. This is why Plotnik has to shout into Ducknik's ear to be heard, even while walking down the street.

4) Space: Zero. The Great Dancenik's apartment is clean and tidy and a wonderful place to crash. But The Big Shmapple gives you little room for breath, let alone reflection. This used to be a plus, at 23 years old. The attraction has passed. Except...there is really really really a lot to write about here.

But $7 for a bottle of water. Where are we, Shmokyo?