36 Years Ago on Long Island

Thirty six years ago, yesterday, The Great Ducknik became a Plotnik. She remembers it was a blisteringly hot day on Long Island. Plotnik does not remember the weather, only that he was wearing a white suit that Duck had made for him, that made him look like Mark Twain. Duck had made her own wedding dress too, in which she was without a doubt the most beautiful flower of the year 1970.

It was a backyard wedding, with perhaps a dozen people in attendance. Duck and Plot had to work out a compromise preacher of some kind, since neither would have a thing to do with any religion they were familiar with, so they chose Reverend Hadley, who was a Unitarian and was willing to leave out the word 'God.'

Reverend Hadley showed up late, but it didn't matter because Plot's good friend and Best Man, Jamie the National Treasure, got himself locked in the flower locker at the florist shop and it took everyone a long time to find him.

Duck's Aunt Alice made the wedding cake: a sour cream coffee cake, chosen because it went well with champagne. There must have been food, but Plotnik cannot remember any. Can you believe it? Plot can't remember the food at his own wedding. Nervous? Him?

It was definitely a low key affair. Mummy and Schmeckl Plotnik flew in from Stiletto City, two of Duck's Aunties came down from Minnesota and one from Kentucky, and the only other guests were The Crow and his Ex-Wife. Actually, she wasn't his ex-wife yet, but she was nine months pregnant, and they arrived quite late because they were having a major league argument. The problem was they were bringing Mummy Plotnik in their car. Mummy P. wasn't sure whether The Crow and his soon-to-be-Ex would kill each other before or after they got Mummy P. to the wedding. That was it for the guest list.

The neighbor across the street tied a string of cans to the bumper of Plot's rented car and wrote 'Amateur Night' in soap across the windshield. The more Plotnik recalls his Wedding Day, the more it sounds like it took place in 1875.

But the most important thing is that Plot and Duck got lucky. Neither was blind to the odds against their marriage lasting. But over time they began to realize each had strengths the other didn't have, and weaknesses the other didn't mind.

For example, last night at The Slanted Door Duck ordered a caiprinha and Plot ordered a mojito. They each took one sip of their drink and then tasted the other's. Naturally, Plot liked Duck's caiprinha better and Duck liked Plot's mojito better. So they switched. They've been doing the exact same thing for 36 years and, God willing, they'll keep it up for 36 more, before they learn to order for themselves.