Message to BZWZ about the Fish in the Jar

The Great Plotnik would like to share this article from March 16, 2003 with his daughter, the one who thinks you can't have Passover without stinking, quivering, and now-we-know-talking jellied fish that comes out of a jar with a screw top:

Gefilte fish calls on Iraq to disarm
By Reuven Koret March 16, 2003

A jar of gefilte fish, opened in Israel, has reportedly issued an ultimatum for Saddam Hussein to abandon his weapons of mass destruction. Coming on the eve of the Jewish holiday of Purim, the day that President George W. Bush has defined as a "moment of truth," the fishy comment has electrified the local community.

The utterance comes close on the gills of another talking fish story from the United States, published in The New York Times, regarding a large carp about to be gutted which reportedly shouted in Hebrew to two men, one a Hassidic Jew and the other an Ecuadorian immigrant, that "the end is coming" and "account for yourself."

The Israeli man who opened the gefilte fish jar, Garel S. Karp of Bnei Brak, said that the voice was speaking in English, but with a Yiddish accent. "I twisted the cap off the jar, there was a little pop, and suddenly there was a squeaky little voice saying: "Oy, vey, tomorrow's the day. Time has come for Mister Saddam to show his bomb." Karp expressed uncertainty over whether the last word might have been "bum."

Karp's wife, Sadie, confirmed his account. "I couldn't believe it. Garel and I were sitting around the dinner table and we hear this little voice coming from the jar, just after he opened it. I looked inside the jar and I could see the jelly still quivering."
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OK, Great BZWZ, is this it? Is this really necessary? Well, if it is, The Great Plotnik is pleased to inform you he has found these options: Sugar Free Gefilte Fish, Pre-cooked Gefilte Fish and Carb Free Gefilte Fish with Splenda & Apple Blintzes.

The blintzes do a mean version of "If I Were a Rich Man."