Winter Food

In the wintertime, a young man's fancy turns to Beef Stew. On New Year's Day, Plotnik's neighbors had a big party and someone was cooking something that smelled really fine. Every time Plotnik opened the door he smelled that luscious, beefy and winey aroma. So that afternoon Plot took the P-cycle down to Smell Market and bought stewing beef, boiler onions and red potatoes. He browned the meat, deglaceed the pan with zinfandel, added the onions, fresh cilantro, beef stock and one fat chipotle in adobo and cooked it all very slowly for a few hours.

Meanwhile, he boiled the red potatoes just until almost tender, drained, peeled and quartered them; then, when the meat was almost tender he added the potatoes along with a little Tony Chachere's spicy salt, turned off the flame and let everything sit together for awhile to get to know each other.

That night he drained off the stock, refrigerated it overnight to take the fat off, and the next afternoon simmered everything for a good two hours until it was all tender. The important part is not letting it boil and adding a little more stock if it gets dry. Stew (in Plotnik's opinion) should have lots and lots of gravy, so you can soak the French Bread in it and also leave a liquidy slurp or two to pour over a certain animal's kibbles.

At the very end, just before serving, Plot added half a package of frozen peas. Duck loves frozen peas. Why she loves frozen peas, Plotnik doesn't know, because frozen peas have no taste. But they do stay nice and green if you only pour hot water over them until they don't stick together and then only warm them up for a minute or two.

Mmmmm, stew. There was a time when Plot and Duck used to eat big, hearty meals like these all the time. It made sense when they lived in the East, in the Big Shmapple and on the farm.

On First Avenue and 65th Street, where the wind rustled store-front awnings as it roared around the corner from November through March, there used to be a Polish butcher. The butcher had two or three assistants, all of whom looked exactly like him, red-faced, red-nosed and rosy-cheeked. They were happy, fat little Aryans who knew lots and lots about big cuts of beef and pork and how to cook them. Plot and Duck weighed a lot more then.

Now, winter in Saint Plotniko lasts only a week or two so you have to squeeze all the heavy food in quickly. Another bonus: leftovers. Lots of leftovers.