Lead Sheets and Procedures

This is what chord charts look like when Plotnik draws them up by hand. They are basically impossible to read, which is why there is software in the world. When the computer does it, the charts look like this:



The problem is that whenever you have key and tempo changes, the software becomes increasingly difficult or impossible to use, especially if you need to shorten a measure. No doubt, more advanced software renders the process simple; FREE software, on the other hand, which is the software-of-choice for 99% of us, makes it necessary to write more problematic song charts out by hand.

Note the various scratch outs -- those are because the software for blank sheet music won't print without the whole note rests. Plotnik COULD just buy blank sheet music from the Blank Sheet Music Store. He could.

Partner Dave is in Nashville as we speak, re-recording and reuniting with a few of the old guys from the old days. The operative word here is 'old.' This process was no fun then, and then it got to be some fun, and now, well, Dave seems to like it.

He phoned Plotnik this morning during Plottie's class and movie at Kaiser for a routine procedure he needs to do in a few months. You don't just do the procedure anymore, first you have to sit around a square table with a dozen other sorry-ass people who would rather be anywhere else on the planet but inside this sorry-ass room, while the nurse explains what they're planning to do with your sorry ass.

One person muttered to himself: "They're gonna put that thing where?"

Plot did not take the call, though the thought occurred to him that it would have been quite humorous to chatter, loudly, to David about which arcane reverb to use on which arcane vocal part, while a dozen people were trying desperately to block out the droning nurse and avoid staring at the grisly movie.

Which reminds Plotnik that once he had to take another of these classes, about weight management. This was because Doctor I Dunno Wadda YOU Think? wanted Plot to understand some facts about cholesterol. Sitting around that table were a dozen other people, every one of them at least 100 pounds overweight. The doctor droned on about how you should watch your diet.

Then one guy raised his hand and said: "How many donuts SHOULD I eat for breakast, then?"

These are the people who live to be 100 years old and die playing tennis while eating cheeseburgers.