St. Patrick Never Ate Corned Beef

(Cousin Two Point Nine, we remember what a drag it was when things were moving along more slowly than anticipated and everyone was calling and saying "So? Any news?" So we won't ask. But we're thinking about you.)

St. Patrick's Day came and went, and there were only four for corned beef, cabbage, red potatoes and brownies. But with four people you can get to talk to one another easier than with a crowd. A year ago, BZWZ was here and we went to the miserable O'Doul's downtown for the very worst overcooked malodorous cabbage to go with barely edible corned beef but really good beer. Last night we had O'doul's Near Beer, and it isn't bad at all. By the bottom of the glass your brain, if not fooled, is at least contemplating.

And you don't really want another. So it's got to be the alcohol in real beer that calls you back again and again, duh. It's hard to imagine wanting three or four O'doul's, and then you probably wouldn't want to get in a phone booth with fifteen other guys and sing the greatest hits of The Four Tops.

Ducknik made Mark Bittman's brownies, proving once again that Bittman is the champion-bar-none for simple recipes with few ingredients that taste the very best.

The Irish don't eat corned beef and cabbage in Ireland on St. Patrick's Day. Hanukkah doesn't exist in Europe or Israel. Kwaanza was made up in the 60s. America seems to be the repository for all unreal holidays that supposedly celebrate the Old Country, but that the Old Country never heard of. Well, why not? By world standards, we are all living in a holiday over here, present economic jolts notwithstanding.