Golfus Delicto

Many thanks to Jan Brittenson for this photo, taken as Plotnik played guitar with Heidi and Noe Valley Sal singing along to Plottie and Sal's 15th consecutive Christmas Song Spoof, this one to the music of 'I Saw Kissing Santa Claus.' You don't have to wonder about whom the song was written.

Here's the lyric:

I Saw Mommy Scream at Santa Claus

I saw Mommy scream at Santa Claus
When he crashed his car after the dance
Mommy sure looked mad
Santa hid behind his bag
She wondered: "Just why can't you keep
your putter in your pants?"
Santa promised that he would behave
He would be a good boy coast to coast
But Mommy got so sore
when Santa's skanky whore
Sold her story to the New York Post

I saw Mommy chasing Santa Claus
Broke the window of his fancy Lex
Mommy was enraged
That Santa'd been engaged
In Golfus Delicto, as well as lots of sex
Now Santa Claus has lost his fancy stroke
No more golf, 'cause Mommy's keeping score
As far as that pre-nup
Mommy's lawyer ripped it up
Now, Santa is no Tiger anymore