Life, Art, Posadas and Latkes
Sparker's beautiful little niece sat on her lap much of last night, involved with her crayons and paper, making full color 8 X 10 drawings of the entire world including weather patterns and houses and animals. Aunt Sparkie told a sickly hysterical story about a potential beau who, shall we say, was not a bleeding heart, and the rest of the Tiaposians sat around eating chili and deviled eggs and salad and baklava and brandy balls and pumpkin pie (now, that is one weird menu but it was delicious).
It was great to see Tiaposians Emerita Sparker and Big Blogs, but both Blonde Bombshell and Chef Pickle were under the weather and couldn't make it down. There were flashbulbs popping so someone must have been taking pictures -- Plot will post some when he gets them.
We have changed subjects. Las Posadas is a Christmas tradition where the Jesus-in-the-manger story is acted out nightly for two weeks before Christmas Day. In Stiletto City you can get an outside table on Olvera Street and eat your flautas and flan and watch the procession file by your table. It was always one of the Plotniks' favorite things to do at Christmas, but not, apparently, in Saint Plotniko.
The Saint being carried in the photo above is not Saint Plotniko, himself, by the way, but The Virgin Mary.
If anyone knows where the Plotniks can find a Posadas celebration this season, preferably in the city named after Saint Plotniko de Asis, please let us know.
Oooops, another subject and religion change. Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah. Plotnik will light the candles of freedom and perhaps hum his song of the same name (to himself). He remembers the prayer from childhood and if BZWZ were here she'd sing it with him. But she will be here tomorrow night!
Those of you who read yesterday's story might think Plotnik scoffs at this holiday, but that isn't true. The holiday is fine. The gift-giving apparatus that has sprung up around it sucks, but it always feels nice to perform the familiar ritual, as long as that ritual can be done in your own living room without having to listen to some bald windbag...oops. There he goes again.
Happy Hannukah. May your lives be easy and your latkes greasy.
(Personal aside to those Plotnikkies who take these things far more seriously than The Great Plotnik ever seems to: please understand that Uncle Plottie means well. He's just, well, Plotnik.)
posted by DAK @ 10:13 AM
2 Comments:
Well, Sheilzi just finished frying her Latkas, and all her greasy clothes are in the hamper and a good scrubbing is in order for her. Arye came home with this gem from his workout today, so it comes along from both of them with Holiday Greetings to the Plotkins. They miss you dearly always, but especially at Chanukkah. They'll be joining the Bagish's this year at their Potluck.
Just in case you're asked you will know how to answer what is the difference between Christmas and Chanukkah.
1. Christmas is one day, same day every year, December 25. Jews also love December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to movies and out for Chinese food and Israeli dancing.
Chanukah is 8 days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to consult the calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all have the same calendar, provided free with a donation from the JCC, the kosher butcher, the local Sinai Memorial Chapel or other Jewish funeral homes.
2. Christmas is a major holiday. It's easily in the top 5 in Christianity.
Chanukah is a minor holiday that probably wouldn't crack the top ten. It has the same theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat.
3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, electronics
Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, or the collected works of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.
4. There is only one way to spell Christmas.
No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukkah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah, etc.
5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts.
Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.
6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills.
Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis.
7. Christmas carols are beautiful...Silent Night, O Come All Ye Faithful.
Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a party and dancing the hora. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal brethren. And don't Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?
8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in festive moods.
A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and onions, and no matter how cold outside, the windows must be open. The home, as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.
9. Christian women have fun baking Christmas cookies.
Jewish women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkas on Chanukah. Another reminder of our suffering through the ages.
10. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names such as Mary, Joseph, and Jesus.
The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or pronounce it. On the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they believe we are wonderfully versed in our history.
11. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth.
Jews think, "Yossela, Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn't sleep with her, and now you want to blame G-d? Here's the number of my shrink".
12. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more commercialized.
The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor holiday. It makes sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur? Forget about celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve yourself for 27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest, confess your sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets a mere $200 per person.
Better stick with Chanukah!
Love, Sheila
Dang, I LOVE latkes! I hope your supply of matzohs is sufficient this year!
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