UPDATE! Eight is Enough Part II

An hour or two later Plotnik called again. He got connected to Happy Rebecca. Rebecca was the most positive, most upbeat, most disgusting human being Plotnik had talked to yet. She kept saying things like:

"Oh, my goodness! I'm SO sorry you had to be so TERRIBLY inconvenienced!"

and

"We want to thank you SO much, Mr. Plotkin, for..."

"It's PlotNIK."

"Yes, Mr. Plotkin, we want to thank you SO much for being part of the AT&T family because..."

"It's PlotNIK! PlotNIK! Please pronounce it for me."

"Ah, ha ha ha, Mr. Potnnik, did I get that right?"

"Grrrr."

"Well, isn't that marvellous! We want to thank you for being so patient! We here at the AT&T family are proud to serve our wonderful customers so they'll be satisfied customers!"

"Uh huh."

But Mr. Plotkin, I'm going to have to transfer you to Gamesh over at Business Foolishness."

"Christ."

"Ha ha, here he is now! Gamesh, are you on the line? I have Mr. Pottkin here. Did I pronounce that right?"

"Just forget it."

(Man's voice): "A good hello to you sir I am so thinking we fixing problem you are having at current moment ha ha ha. My name is Gamesh."

"All right, Gamesh."

"Oh, yes, that is a good thing, yes. I will having to put you on hold for a few moments while I complete this service change, you are understanding?"

"Yes, you're going to put me on hold."

"Oh, ha ha ha, yes I am. For two or three minutes at the maximum time allowance is waiting you are for me. I will be right back."

BLISTERING rock and roll Muzac. One guitar line, over and over. And over. And over. Plotnik has put the phone on Speaker and he is afraid to touch it because he might get disconnected again. Fifteen agonizing minutes later Gamesh is back.

"Oh, Mr. Ploknutz we are having trouble. One more moment I am hoping please!"

MORE BLISTERING rock and roll Muzac. The SAME distorted guitar line. Plotnik cannot run and there is nowhere to hide.

Gamesh returns.

"Oh, Mr. Poopflotz, I am afraid I am having to transfering you to Rene at Impossible Screwups. Rene are you there?"

"Hi there Sweetie, are you not having a good day?"

Plotnik loves this woman's voice.

"Rene, where are you located?" Plotnik asks.

"Lafayette, Louisiana, sweetheart, now you just hold on and Rene gonna make everything fine. OK?"

"Well, OK."

"And good bye to you, Gamesh, now you have a fine day too, a'ight?"

"Oh, is good idea and good day I will be having. Good bye to you Mr. Plot-NIK? Did I say name with correct pronouncement?"

"You actually did."

Right now Rene and Plotnik are getting along fine. We'll let you know. Still at 100.