Peter Pan Is Right

Mummy Plotnik has been flat on her back since early this week. Lillian has been staying overnight all week and the Southern Cal Ks are all pitching in this weekend. It appears to be time to actually speak the frightening words: 24-hour care. This means hiring someone to live in the house with Mummy P., at least for the time being but possibly for the long term.

There are so many attendant problems to this situation -- one being that most full-time helpers have very limited English and they would not be able to do the things she needs most -- reading to her, talking about things that matter to her, being a companion. Lillian has her own family and cannot move in to Mummy P.'s house.

A few years ago it was necessary to find temporary care workers to help out with Mummy P. and The Chief when his increasing memory loss and health problems were making things tough for both of them. The helpers they hired all turned out to be nasty-tempered Philipina ladies who did not like their jobs. They sat around, smoked cigarettes and talked on their cell phones. It was horrible.

And of course, let's be honest: when Plot's Mom is feeling poorly her five-second filter becomes disengaged -- the one that would normally cancel out a rancid comment that sounds a lot nastier than she intends. People who know her understand it is exhaustion talking. People who don't just get mad and that makes their interaction even worse.

Last time Mummy P. recovered and the last five years have been better than anyone could have hoped for. We've all been trying to avoid this situation for a long time and it has worked pretty well up to here -- but even if M.P. recovers from this problem, it is certain to have derailed her. And if not now, soon. The decision has to be faced.

Going to a 'facility' is out of the question. She needs to remain in her own home, where even with limited sight and sketchy hearing she knows where everything is and can find her way around easily.

The Great Plotnik does not like decisions like these. He prefers pretending. He may be Peter Pan. Brother Pan is not much better. Nobody wants to grow up.