Still Crazy

I met Paul Simon in a downtown bar.
I think he was drinking cherry schnapps.
So I said "you are my favorite,"
As I drank a glass of port.
"You're bald, and you sure are short."

He said, "excuse me, do I know you, dude?"
I said, "I believe you come from Queens?"
"And your grandma's in Hadassah
And your mother works for ORT
"You're bald, and you sure are short."

"Oh, you do bridges
Such great bridges
You are the King of Bridges
Where do you get such nutty rhymes?
"I'll bet you tried 'religious.'"

I followed Paul Simon to his Porsche Carrera
The kind of car a shrimpy guy would drive.
And he called his fat attorney
As he hauled me off to court
"You're bald, and you sure are short."

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Don't ask.