Mirror Mirror on the Wall. Who, Me? Awwwww!

Oh, Susannah York.

Plot and Duck watched the end of the Oscars last night. The last scene with the kids' choir from Staten Island was a beauty, but it's hard work to watch much of this show because Plotnik has to keep getting up and leaving the room to keep from retching every time one of the Academy-nominated songs is played.

Who were the hosts? Who WERE the hosts? Billy Crystal is right, we still need Bob Hope. Plotnik never thought he would say that.

It was nice to see "Winter's Bone" recognized, though Best Actress/Best Picture would have been quite a reach. "Inception" was soooo stupid. Haven't seen "The King's Speech" or "Social Network" or "The Fighter" or the one that seems to be about somebody trapped on a mountain.

There should be a category for "Best Film When Taking One's Mother." "Julie and Julia" would win that one. "Winter's Bone" was good but too dark for Mummy P. and "Harry Brown" with Michael Caine was dark too. "The Town" was a disaster because it was too complicated, though Plot and Duck liked it.

The problem is that Plottie always wants to translate for his Mom because she can't see too well, so you have to go to a multiplex matinee and sit at a distance from other patrons. But then the extra loud sound track in the multiplex always jangles and makes Mummy P. a little crazy. To tune that out she tends to fall asleep, so when the lights come up and the film is over and you say "So Mom, how did you like the movie?" her answer is generally: "ehhhh. Not much."

But it's still worth it because she likes getting out and Plot and Duck, who never go to movies if they don't take his Mom, get to see movies they'd never go see otherwise.

Oscar Night is Hollywood's answer to its own Mirror Mirror on the Wall question. Who is the fairest of us all for Best Supporting Editing of a Non Original Documentary with Subtitles in Pashtun? Me? Awwwww!

But Plottie doesn't mind because he loves those actors and those stories too. The In Memoriam section always brings a tear to his eye. Leslie Nielsen? Robert Culp? Susannah York?

DANG! Remember Susannah York with Albert Finney in "Tom Jones?" Was there ever a more glorious looking young woman? Gone, but not forgotten.