Why Bail Out Grease?

Everyone is talking about bailing out Grease. Well, why not West Side Story? Maria loses her man every night and she can use the help.

And where do you stop? Once Grease is solvent, the others are going to fall, one by one. First it'll be Carousel and then Cats. We can let Cats go, but Carousel? You have to save Carousel because its economy is interlinked with The Sound of Music.

Personally, we think there are many musicals who deserve bailout money. But there are those that don't. Andrew Lloyd Weber can bail out his own dumb shows. Nothing with balloons or confetti and the end. No more perky lead actresses who all look like they were drawn by the guy in Korea who does the Simpsons. No stupid, sensitive really short lead actors.

In fact, nothing stupid at all. Stupid: Raise your own money. There's a lot over in the red states.

We endorse bailout money for shows that take chances, particularly if they're about baseball, music, the Umpire of the Earth and/or Bud, The Commissioner.

Grease, hmmmph.