The HOT_L TWILIGHT. Here We Go Again.

It's not a good sign when the first show of the new season at one of Plottie's favorite playhouses forces Ducknik and Plotnik to keep elbowing each other so they won't drool as they fall asleep snoring loudly and then break their front teeth as they bop their heads on the seat in front of them.

When Plotnik was not fighting sleep he was wondering how much his room was costing him in the Theater Twilight Zone. The audience was in hysterics. Plotnik couldn't figure out what was funny. He'd look over at Ducknik. "Zzz-OW!" she'd say as Plotnik poked her.

Sitting on the other side of Ducknik was Famous Playwright. Plot and Duck have seen several of his Famous Plays, and they are always good. He laughed too, though a bit self-consciously, Plot felt, but at least he laughed in the right places. The rest of the audience was clueless. Free tickets do that to you.

"Oh, miserable me," says the lesbian on the stage in the business suit.

"Yuk yuk oh snort snort oh ha ha harty har," says the audience, in jeans.

Plotnik has groused about this before, but it's his blog, so let him do it again: sexual identity is fine, sleep with whomever you choose, but please, if you're going to write a play about it, make it -- at a bare minimum -- entertaining. We KNOW you've had a tough time. We KNOW you don't like your mother. We KNOW you're a victim of practically everything including your own hormones. Now that this is clear, MAKE ME LAUGH! MAKE ME CRY! DO SOMETHING!"

OK, every play isn't great, every song isn't wonderful, every story isn't perfect. But the show Plot and Duck saw last night is a revival. In other words, they did it once and now they want to do it AGAIN?

The HOT_L TWILIGHT. R. Serling, Prop. Our motto is: "Nothing you see will make any sense to you." And it's only the first show of the year.