The Long View and Lactose

The long view is best. The long view says that whatever it is that is sticking under your saddle right now, will be lost and forgotten in a relatively short time. In the long view, what counts, counts. What doesn't count isn't worth getting upset about.

It's the time frame that you must work on. For example, your child will eventually do the right thing, but only if he or she does the wrong thing first. This tends to happen during your lifetime, so count it as good.

On the other hand, your wife will sooner or later realize you were right all along, but most likely not until you're dead. This is good, for her, but bad for you. As in comedy, timing is everything.

The short view needs extra money to acquire that -- you know, that thing you can't live without. The long view says technology will render it obsolete before you even buy it. The long view is doing you a favor here.

Not talking food or health care or becoming homeless. But your darling will not curl into a leaf and become a useless larvae if he doesn't get into that pre-school where they learn Urdu.

Reverb units are different. You can't live without the right reverb. This is what happened to Plotnik the other day.

He went to Guitar Center. Guitar Center is where Plotnik goes to feel old and in the way. But it's worth it: all those guitars!

He happened to walk by the Bargain Bin. In the Bargain Bin was a reverb unit -- software. The package looked like it was a hundred years old. The store didn't even have it in its inventory, so they gave it to Plotnik for free.

Of course, when he got it home it wouldn't load in his computer, so he e-mailed the company, which is in Holland. The next day he got an answer: the company told him he could have an upgrade, as long as he gave them his original sales receipt.

He wrote back telling them he didn't have a sales receipt because the store gave it to him for free.

The next day he got an answer: they could give him a free trial of their newest product. It would work for fifteen days. Plotnik figured that in fifteen days he could use it to sweeten his solo project and then wouldn't need it any more. He told them this was fine, what should he do next?

The next day he got an answer: Download this link, hit that link. He did it. At the very end of the installation they asked for a serial number. He didn't have a serial number. He wrote them telling them he needed a way to bypass the serial number.

The next day he got an answer: Just try it again, and when it comes to the serial number, just hit RETURN. He did it. The software just laughed at him, in Dutch, hjar hjar hjar. He wrote and told them he still couldn't install the software.

The next day he got an answer which basically said We are tired of you. Could you please just go away and forget you ever heard of us? Plotnik wrote back and said I'll be glad to, after I sent this correspondence to your president and the International Software Terrorism Committee, which just happens to meet regularly in Amsterdam.

Ha ha ha ha.

Hjar hjar hjar hjar.

The next day he got no answer. Nor today.

All of this is just prelude to the important statement: The Great PunkyDunky just wrote to say that Isabella is now telling people "she is lactose intolerant except for chocolate milk."

Hjar hjar hjar, long view, short view, THAT is just perfect.