Three Schoolmarms

Last night Plotnik posed the question as to if there is any difference between Harry Reed, Mitch McConnell and Ron Paul? We're not talking politics here, but style: those three men aggravate Plotnik the moment they open their mouths, not because they would lie to Mama Mouse to get her to buy one more slice of their toxic cheese, but because they are prissy, eyes-closed, know-it-all, ruler-weilding schoolmarms.

Silent Bill seems to think Eric Kantor is worse than Mitch McConnell, but not for me. Kantor is 100% wrong on practically every issue, but at least he doesn't purse his lips and roll his eyes.

Ron Paul actually makes sense a small percentage of the time -- his opinions on foreign policy match Plotnik's almost exactly, so they must be right. But how can you listen to him? He whines like Ralph Nader. He's like a tiny Kobe Bryant -- convinced everybody is fouling him every time they hand him the ball.

Harry Reed, Plottie just wants to slug, to render him unconscious for awhile. Nobody can out-smug Harry Reed.

You can't slug Mitch McConnell. Your fist will touch nothing but cologne. He is a non-corporal prig. And yet, though without a body, he is fat. Chinese water torture, nothing less will do.

Al Gore was smug. But he had a body. A lot of it. Mitt Romney is not smug, and he has a body too. He's not a bad guy. He's not. C'mon, you guys, really. He's not. Really.

Why doesn't anyone believe that?

But Newt? Corporal. And smart. And a little scary, as cretins tend to be. But Newt doesn't bother Plotnik. Well, the hair. But better Newt Hair than The Donald's.

By the way, The Great Ducknik says don't worry about Newt, because there are more women than men in America. Even Christian die hard evangelist women can't forgive that hypocritical sleezeball, can they?