The Great Plotnik

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Why G Blank Blank Doesn't Eat Pork (Supposedly)


Have you noticed? Plotnik seems to be posting every other day now. It isn't conscious -- could it be he is even boring himself? This trend must be reversed.

Bro and ElBee arrived yesterday with enough bbq ribs to feed Jackson, Mississippi. They were the kind Plottie loves best -- not sauced, but really tasty, and the sauce is on the side. How about three racks for four people? Yes, there are leftovers. Many, many leftovers.

Turns out that tabboule with preserved lemons is the perfect foil for ribs -- all that lemon cuts the grease and allows you eat even more pork.

What do Jews and Muslims have against pig, anyway? It's so tasty, and no worse for you than any other meat. True, there once was a fear of disease from undercooked pork, but, you know, they cooked on campfires. How in the world do you undercook anything on a campfire?

What really happened is far simpler. Who writes this stuff down, anyway? The Chief Rabbi. How do you become Chief Rabbi? You buy political favor. Probably the guy who was the Chief Rabbi's major contributor ran a lamb farm or a cow farm. Prohibiting pork would help buddy's business, and go a long way to securing future donations.

Especially if you could convince your illiterate followers that G Blank Blank, who I can promise you would have LOVED those ribs last night, had ordained it.

Obviously The Great Plotnik neither feels his flock is piggy nor illiterate, nor does he mean to slight Mr. Blank Blank. He is only saying that food is food and religion is religion. Plotnikkies believe you should pray to whomever you prefer and eat whatever you like. Except liver.

1 Comments:

At 5:49 PM, Blogger J and J said...

thiI HAD BBQ pork RIBS FOR LUNCH TODAY. DINED ALONE BUT YUM. CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I ATE THEM. I HAD JUST COME FROM THE DOC WHO SAID ALL MY BLOODWORK WAS AWESOME. HAD TO CELEBRATE AND WANTED TO KEEP UP ON AVOIDING SWEETS! OINK OINK!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home