PLOTNIK IS SO CHEAP!

The deal was, Plotnik got a royalty check. Amazingly, since the burgeoning of ITunes, his royalties are once again heading upwards. So now, armed with enough cash to buy the three items he has had on his wish list for who knows how many years, off he went to the Apple Store, and Item One, the IPad 32g, got crossed off his list. The more he uses it, the more he realizes he can do with it.

PLOTNIK IS SO CHEAP!

Next: an electric guitar. Believe it or not, Plotnik, the professional musician, owns neither a piano nor an electric guitar. The piano -- well, we've talked about the reasons he can't buy one. But the electric guitar is just his own cheapness. It costs maybe half an IPad, so what's holding the Plotman up?

Jimmy Street and both his daughters will be up here this weekend, so maybe Jim and Plotnik will head  down to Guitar Center. The guitar Plotnik wishes he'd bought -- the oil can guitar in Capetown -- has become a hipster favorite now, so it's out of sight cash-wise. But Plottie knows what he's looking for -- something very close to BZWS's, only in black, with skulls, crossbones, KILL THE MAN and HAPPINESS IS SMASHING CAPITALISM pasted on the front, along with a photo of Matt Kemp.

We will talk about Item Three after Item Two is in the house. If you're holding your breath, maybe don't.