Plotnik Responds to A Letter from Barack

MY FELLOW PLOTNIKKIES:

YOU KNOW WE LOVE AND SUPPORT BARACK OBAMA. BUT THESE EMAILS ARE JUST TOO MUCH. SO WE ANSWERED ONE:

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Dear Plotnik --

I want to thank you for all you're doing for this campaign.

I'M DOING VERY LITTLE.

If we get to continue this work, it's going to be because of you.

YOU BETTER HOPE THAT'S NOT TRUE.

Next week I'm meeting up with President Clinton on the campaign trail, and we both want to thank you in person.

I HEARD HE'S VEGAN NOW. WE CAN SKIP LUNCH.

Donate $5 or whatever you can today to be automatically entered to fly out to join us.

SEND ME THE TICKET, THEN I'LL GIVE YOU THE $5.

This Sunday is the biggest fundraising deadline of this campaign so far.

OH, RIGHT. UNTIL MONDAY.

There's no billionaire donor or lobbyist waiting around to write a $10 million check.

ACTUALLY, THEY USE DIRECT TRANSFER. 

How you respond right now determines if we move into the final stretch of this election with the resources we need, ready to close this out, or if we're struggling to keep up with the other side.

YOU WANT MONEY? GET AHMADINEJAD AND NETENYAHU TOGETHER FOR LUNCH. I'LL PICK UP THE TAB.

And that's the way it's been from the beginning.

NO, REALLY. I'LL PAY. 

DID YOU HEAR THIS ONE? "A BLACK MAN, A PERSIAN AND A JEW WALK INTO A BAR..." NO? TOO BAD.

If we had listened to the pundits and the critics and the powers that be inside Washington...

(I'D WATCH THAT EBONICS USAGE, BARRY. THERE'S PROBABLY ALREADY AN AD IN OHIO SHOWING YOU AND REVEREND WRIGHT SHOOTING CRAPS IN AN ALLEY.)

...whenever they tried to stand in our way, we would have given up a long time ago.

THE PUNDITS LOVE YOU. THE REPUBLICANS HATE EVERYBODY. 

You've played a valuable role in moving this campaign forward 

STOP IT! I HATE THESE EMAILS! JOE BIDEN! BILL CLINTON! YOU! BEYONCE! SNOOP DOG! YOUR WIFE! 

-- now, I hope you'll help make sure we finish September stronger than we've ever been. 

JOIN A GYM.

Donate $5 or whatever you can today:

I MEANT IT ABOUT LUNCH WITH BILL AND...WHAT IS PERSIAN BOY'S FIRST NAME? YOU NEVER HEAR IT. CHAIM? ED? CORKY? ANYWAY, LUNCH IS ON ME.

https://donate.pleasepleaseplease.ohcomeon.com/youcannotgetoffthislist

HTTP://ROMNEYSSECRETVAULT.BEAGLEBOYS/SCROOGEMCDUCK

Thanks,

YOU'RE WELCOME

Barack

I'D PREFER TO CALL YOU MR. PRESIDENT. DON'T SCREW UP.