Thoughts on the Plotzers

It's good that the Plotzer season will end today when they're swept by the Nats. At least we'll be able to put away any thoughts of grandeur. OK, we gave up on grandeur a month ago. It was 'hopes of slipping through unnoticed" at best.

The Plotzers have an all star lineup. The problem is the year is 2006. They've traded away all their young players and young pitchers. They are as much fun to watch as the Republican National Convention.

So, tomorrow we can start talking about rugby, ice hockey and women's college bowling. 

It used to be beer and trucks during TV baseball games. Now it's erectile dysfunction, investment advice and Japanese SUVs.

Vin Scully has dementia. "That's his 89th pitch." That's his 90th pitch." That's his 91st pitch."

Matt Kemp is scared. Oh, Melky, I hope I'm wrong. It doesn't look like it.

"That's his 92nd pitch." "That's his 93rd pitch." "Ooops. There's number 94."

Every team but us has young fastballers. We have old junk pitchers and one young guy with the hip problems of an old Jew.

"95!" 96!" "That was his 97th pitch! Here comes the manager! There goes the game! There goes the year! Wanna buy some erectile dysfunction or bad investments or a crappy car?"