Beautifully Done, Barack

Thanks to the Mushniks for inviting us over last night to share the TV on election night. We'd been expecting to be in Brooklyn, so it was a great boost to hang out with friends.

Thanks to Ohio, Florida and Wisconsin for waking up. Thanks to Jerry and Judy for delivering Ohio. Thanks to The Chief for watching over the whole process on Election Night, as he always did.

But very special thanks to Todd Akin, and Michelle Bachmann and Rick Santorum and Donald Trump and all the other right wing large-mouthed asses who let America know the true heart of the GOP. Without them, none of this would have been possible.

Thanks to Mitt for being decent. The truth is, in his real heart, he would be a terrific Democrat, sensible and solid. But he had to act Republican, which these days just means saying no to anything decent or sensible.

And thanks to Barack Obama, who proved that being Muslim, born in Africa (or was it Indonesia?), hating America and working for Al Queda will never stop a man from achieving his goal.

His acceptance speech was inspirational. We'll get new shirts, now that we know the old ones still work.