The Great Plotnik

Monday, January 21, 2013

"And Now, Stevie Wonder."

Inauguration Comments

If you're going to sing 'Oh Beautiful,' a song everyone knows, sing IT, not 'Oh Kelly Clarkson I'm So Cool I Can Almost Even Sound Black But Not Too Black But Not Too Country Either And I'm Too Stupid to Remember the Real Melody." Not her, please.


Is there a clergyman in America who does not suffer from Godophosis, also known as Mike Fever? Couldn't they find that guy?


The poet was great. Why couldn't he do the benediction?


Barack, I'm sorry you've gone gray. But I know why. I had a teenage daughter once too.


But see, Mr. President,  I keep wanting to be lifted out of my humdrum shoes when I hear you speak. The problem is I heard you do it once. Remember Reverend Wright? That speech inspired me. I was ready to walk through fire for that man. Why don't you ask me to do that anymore?

Bill Clinton never made a great inauguration speech either. Maybe you all are trying too hard to please everybody.


For my Inauguration Speech I would say this: "The country needs A). And B). I intend to accomplish  both of these things. Help me or get the f* out of the way. God Bless America. And now, Stevie Wonder."



At 3:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like your speech and analogy.

At 5:24 PM, Anonymous Blond Bombshell said...

I'd vote for you :)

At 5:38 AM, Blogger Karen said...

Ok, but that poet kinda sucked.


Post a Comment

<< Home