"And Now, Stevie Wonder."

Inauguration Comments

If you're going to sing 'Oh Beautiful,' a song everyone knows, sing IT, not 'Oh Kelly Clarkson I'm So Cool I Can Almost Even Sound Black But Not Too Black But Not Too Country Either And I'm Too Stupid to Remember the Real Melody." Not her, please.

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Is there a clergyman in America who does not suffer from Godophosis, also known as Mike Fever? Couldn't they find that guy?

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The poet was great. Why couldn't he do the benediction?

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Barack, I'm sorry you've gone gray. But I know why. I had a teenage daughter once too.

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But see, Mr. President,  I keep wanting to be lifted out of my humdrum shoes when I hear you speak. The problem is I heard you do it once. Remember Reverend Wright? That speech inspired me. I was ready to walk through fire for that man. Why don't you ask me to do that anymore?
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Bill Clinton never made a great inauguration speech either. Maybe you all are trying too hard to please everybody.

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For my Inauguration Speech I would say this: "The country needs A). And B). I intend to accomplish  both of these things. Help me or get the f* out of the way. God Bless America. And now, Stevie Wonder."

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