The Great Plotnik

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

A New Pope

The phone rang in the middle of the night. The voice spoke in Italian.

"Signore Plot-neek. You have heard about the Papa?"

"I am Papa," said Plotnik.

"No, no, il Papa in Roma?"

"Oh, the Pope? Benedict? No, whassup?"

"He quitting. We need new Papa. You already called Papa. You wanta job?"

"Me? Pope?"

"It a little weird, I know."

"Well...can I choose my own name?"

"Of course. What name a-you want?"

"Do I have the job?

"Maybe. But we still talking to Uncle Goopy."

Plotnik said he'd call the man back.

He is considering these three names:


But he's sure he won't get it. They always give it to Uncle Goopy.


At 8:11 AM, Blogger notthatlucas said...

Ha ha ha - Pope Koufax. (And thanks for sparing us from Pope Lasorda.) I think you should go for Pope Plotnik and trade the Popemobie in on a Tesla. (And I'm pretty sure that huge area in front of that fancy church at the Vatican could hold a nice ballpark.)

Suddenly I'm caring about this story!

At 11:14 AM, Anonymous Brother Two Names said...

I vote Koufax!!!!!!

At 11:27 AM, Anonymous Blond Bombshell said...

Haha! I'll kiss your ring, Pope Plotniquis.

At 1:14 PM, Blogger Ira Fateman said...

I like it. What is money for anyway? A great show.
Your personal financial advisor!

At 2:49 PM, Anonymous Cousin Seattle said...

Pope Plotnik the Innocent?
Pope Plotnicious the Humble?

Oooh, you could be the Antipope! (

OOOOR, you could be Pope Hilarius! (

Even better, you could abdicate to your daughter in law, Pope Anastasius V! (That's actually a real Pope name!)

OK, I'm done now. :)

At 3:06 PM, Blogger mary ann said...

You are waaaaaaaaaaay too young...


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