Fifty

So here we go, down to Stiletto City for The Great Plotnik's High School Reunion with the Big 0 on the end. He got out his yearbook the other night and leafed through it, trying to remember who his friends were.

He remembered a few people. But the truth is that Plot was one of those guys who couldn't wait to get out of high school and get on with his life, to slip away from the world in which he was brought up. He's probably still running, though these days he does get curious, from time to time, about what happened to whom. Did classmates go to Vietnam? Did anyone do anything interesting with their lives? What about the pretty girls, most of whom Plotnik never had the courage to talk to?

In High School Plot thought of himself as a sort-of jock, but not a football jock. No cheerleaders were included with second string basketball players. He was the youngest kid in his class, so he always felt a little awkward socially, which he made up for (in his mind) by being a little bit weird.

But normal seemed weird. Getting in someone's car, finding someone to buy beer, then drinking the beer while riding around and yelling out the window, and eventually having to clean someone's barf off the seat covers -- this was normal, but it was never too attractive.

Discovering soul music -- that was weird. Driving to South Stiletto to hear music and feel a little more alive -- that was weird.

Plot's stepdad died as Plottie was entering High School, and the Chief came along later. Schmeckl was already away at college, so during most of high school it was Mummy P. and Plotnik. Plottie felt a responsibility to his mom that has never really left his shoulders, but it got easier once she married the Chief before Plottie's last semester.

The yearbook -- why can't he remember people? Well, doofus, that's because you didn't have very many friends, remember?

He's been to several of Ducknik's reunions, but she loved high school and had tons of friends. Still, Plottie's observation of those reunions is that they are parties thrown by the once-popular kids for the once-popular kids. The social pecking order is still prominent.

But the thing is, Plotnik was so clueless he's not even sure who the most popular kids at Birmingham High School were. In the yearbook he sees that the photos are all of the same bunch of people. Most Popular, Best Dancer, Most Likely to Succeed, Class President, Class Secretary, Head Cheerleader. Different photos of the same kids. It will probably still be the same, except for the valedictorian -- a really nice guy who just died of pancreatic cancer. So there's that too.

Plotnik will take the yearbook to Stiletto tonight, to see if he recognizes anyone or anyone recognizes him. He was dreading it before but he's not now. He already paid his money. A hundred bucks each for chicken or fish.