Birds

The Great Plotnik loves birds. He invented wonderful things to do with birds, like Fried Chicken (No. 12), Chicken and Dumplings (Comb. 184), Peking Duck (No. 66), Roast Turkey (No. 5), Sauteed Squab (N0. 401) and his masterpiece: Turduckenhumfoot -- a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken stuffed with a hummingbird's foot (Comb. 11,142).

The Great Plotnik's grandmother, Grannie Plotnik, made delicious fried chicken. The wings were especially crispy. Grannie Plotnik pronounced wings 'Vings.' So when The Great Plotnik was still Baby Plotnik, he and his brother Shmeckl would always ask Grannie Plotnik for chicken wings by calling "Ve Vant Vings!" This was considered broad humor in the Plotnik family.

You might wonder: if The Great Plotnik were the First of his race, how could there have been a Grannie Plotnik, or Grampie Plotnik, or even a Mummy or Poppy or Schmeckl Plotnik? This is a very, very good question.

To properly ponder this particularly pugnacious parable, The Great Plotnik suggests a large, steaming bowl of Shirl's Cajun Gumbo with Chicken, Andouille Sausage and Bayou Sef Prawns (Comb. 305). In fact, The Great Plotnik would appreciate it if you'd bring him a bowl too, with a side of Buffalo Vings (No. 81) and a Turduckenhumfoot.