Three Mob Figures With Hands Over Faces

Today Southwest Airlines announced $99 cross-country fares, which means that in May Plotnik and Ducknik can fly from Smokeland to My Slip, Lawn Goyland for $500 or so, once you add in the taxes. It's still a lot cheaper than all the other airlines, but the Saint Plotnikians will have to stop in Chicago, and once they land in My Slip, Lawn Goyland, they'll have to take a shuttle bus over to the A Train, which adds on another hour and a half or so to the trip, then transfer to the Eighth Avenue Local and get off in Greenwich Village. From there, if Plot remembers correctly, they will hoof it past all the Coolness until they arrive at The Great Dancenik's apartment.

Dancenik is going to...well, she hasn't said where she's going, except to offer her apartment to the Plotniks for the week...so she won't be there, which is the one bad thing, except it's also one good thing because that saves somewhere in the neighborhood of $750-$1,000 that hotels would have cost.

No, it doesn't. Get real. If the apartment hadn't been available, P and D would probably have stalled and stalled and maybe not have gone at all.

So Dancenik's apartment being available costs Plotnik a small fortune for airfare and all those yummmmmmy onion bagels with smoked whitefish and chive-cream cheese, yum, and pastramis on club roll with sour tomatoes at Katz's, yummm!, and real Italian sausage sandwiches, drooool, and subways and taxis and plays and movies and trips down Memory Lane.

But the best part is they'll get to see The Great BZWZ too, and Plotnik will finally discover how an apartment in Harlem can cost so much, unless you pay extra for the mice and roaches and absentee landlord.