Pharaoh is Invited for Dinner, but Will He Come?

One of the bottles of The Wine That Isn't Wine, Really, stands next to the bell that will be chimed to announce each of the plagues. Frogs, Insects, Rivers Running with Blood, Death of Livestock, Smiting of the First Born -- as we now say, Moses was well connected. Pharaoh has still not returned his RSVP (Respondez S'il Vous Plotnik), but he would be welcome.

In The Big Shmapple, they have hundreds of Manischewitz bottles piled up in huge pyramids as you walk in the door of every store. In Saint Plotniko, it took some looking to find it -- Bev-Mo had their concord grape selections buried on a bottom shelf in the back of the store.



The fridge is jammed -- you're not even seeing the briskets and the many large glass bottles of soup to skim. Oh, and please, don't look at that package of, uh, smoked, uh, meat product, above the eggs. It's just, like, you know, for solidarity with the majority population.



This is the chicken soup. The Magic Elixir. It cures everything known to man, with the possible exception of Frogs, Insects, Rivers Running with Blood, Death of Livestock and Smiting of the First Born. The Great Plotnik has always believed that in antiquity, as well as now, if the worst enemies only sat down and ate dinner together, and the meal started with this soup (matzoball optional -- but, in fact, if Pharaoh were to show up we could rename it Pharaohball, or the Great Ball of Ra), by the time dessert rolled around there would be no more intractable problems. We all want to live and we all want to eat. Like Tony Soprano says: There's plenty to go around.



So far, the surprise of the season is discovering these macaroons. They are ridiculously simple and fast to make, have no butter or oil or dairy or flour (of course), and are delicious. The Mark Bittman 'How to Cook Everything' cookbook is a treasure. TGP and TGP filled up five tins last night to be consumed tonight with strawberries.

Maybe in a few days, or maybe never, The Great Plotnik will discuss yesterday's phenomenally surprising and almost catastrophic Brisket Screwup. Probably never. Thankfully, Safeway stays open late.

One last thought before heading back up to the kitchen: For all those loonies who claim the Jews control America, what's with scheduling the NCAA Finals on the first night of Passover? What if Florida or Ohio State had a team of Jewish players, haha, heh heh, yuk yuk yuk, snicker, guffaw, oh man that's funny?

Wait! Take it back! This man, who currently plays for the Los Angeles Lakers, is Jewish! OK, so he had a little geneological help from his Dad, but he was raised a Jew AND can jump! And pass (the matzo)! AND, his (first) name is Jordan! WE can talk about that tattoo.