The Great Plotnik

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Free the Milton One!



The Great Plotnik is looking forward to seeing his fellow baseball-lover friends this evening at Braindead Stadium. Plottie plans to wear his Free The Milton One! t-shirt.

Everyone had hoped this game would mean something. Anything. But nope. No matter how you slice it, the good guys finish 4th and the next-to-good guys finish 5th and the other three pisspoor miscreant teams end up one-two-three. Jeez. Even The Calamari Rockheads are going to finish ahead of the Plotzers and Caribbeans. This is a revolting development. Ms. Domin-Nik, if you're reading, just pretend we're talking about photography.

Free The Milton One! -- you've got to be a baseball fan to love the Milton Bradley saga. Note that in the picture above he is wearing a Cleveland Indians uniform. He is young and a switch hitting power hitter, the rarest of the rare player that every team covets, but...he's got this temper, see. It got him run out of Cleveland and traded to the Dodgers, and then traded to the Oakland A's, and then traded to the Saint Patooty Piffles, where the other day he got tackled by his own manager to keep Milton from attacking an umpire. In the collision, Bradley tore up his knee and is out until next summer, but it will probably be with yet another team.

Bradley says the umpire baited him by swearing at him. Umpires are scum, Milt. Walk away, Rene. Turn around and walk back to the bench, Johnny. Nope. Not Milton Bradley.

What a pity -- he could be such a beautiful ballplayer, but not until he's free from his demons. Free the Milton One!

2 Comments:

At 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's amazing how much trouble he has caused - and none of it about performance enhancing drugs or DUIs.

I think teams would put up with that if there wasn't also the "Fragile" tag he wears - that guy is hurt almost as often as he is ticked at someone.

Maybe if he drank decaf and stretched more...

 
At 6:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't help but think of the old TV jingle, "Milton Bradley makes the best games in the world." Anyone for a rousing game of Candyland?

 

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