Calling Someone

Three important things to remember about hanging insulation in a 100+ year-old attic: 1) It's really dusty and 2) it's hot as hell and 3) if you stand up too quickly you will crack your head on a rafter. Nonetheless, progress is being made. It took three hours this morning to get up one run (what you're looking at going up one side plus an equal set coming down the other. This involves cutting two batts of fiberglass insulation to the proper lengths, stapling them together, then taping the seam, then driving screws into the rafters, then holding up the batts of insulation to the ceiling and stapling the paper edges to the rafters, then winding wire around the screws to keep everything hanging tautly.

You wear a mask, which fogs up your glasses so you can't see. So you take off your glasses, but you're lying on your back and the soot falls off the rafters into your eyes. So you put your glasses back on, but now you can't see where to drive the staple. So you take off your glasses. BLIPSH! Soot.

You might ask where someone like The Great Plotnik EVER learned to do s___ like this. (Also why?) There was a time, before buying a decrepit farmhouse in Pennsylvania, when Plottie thought fiberglass batts were what they use in the minor leagues. (Call me, Domin-Nik, I'll explain.) But then he met The Great Ducknik. And now they're both sweating their rear ends off in a hot and dusty attic.

Doing stuff like this seems to be a hallmark of Plottnikie Theory. Everyone else in Plot's family uses the "Call Someone" rule when something goes wrong. "Honey, the toilet is backed up." "Call someone." Nobody in Duck's family ever called anyone to do anything they could do for themselves, which was just about everything.

This means the Ducknik Family is Plotnikkish to the core, and Plotnik thanks them all for all their living examples. Right now, though, he'd really rather 'call someone.'