Uh Oh Afghanistan Uh Oh

Barack Obama is in Afghanistan and is spouting about how Afghanistan is the most important war we can fight. Does no one remember what happened to the Russians there? Plotnik is concerned, fellow Plotnikkies, that we will exit Iraq and enter Afghanistan in a big way, from which death trap we will never extract ourselves. And they don't even have any oil.

Meanwhile, McCain is running around like a Mickey Mouse wind-up doll shouting "Choose to Lose! Choose to Lose!" but he thinks he's talking about Iraq. Afghanistan will swallow us whole if we're stupid enough to commit major amounts of troops there. That seems to be what's coming, mark Plottie's words.

Remember that Afghanistan only exists because the British established it to be a buffer between India and Russia, to block Russia's route to the sea. It is in the middle of everything, a collection of cultures lumped together. These cultures don't trust each other, and its people treat outsiders as unwanted interlopers.

Osama bin Laden is an unwanted interloper too, but he's a Sunni Muslim, which is a lot better than a Crusader for Christ. He's safe there. We're the ones who have to watch our backs.

Don't listen to the army, Mr. Mickey. Don't listen to the chiefs of the armed services, Mr. O. Use your heads. Compared to the nightmare that Afghanistan could become, Iraq is a burger and a beer. When you exit Iraq, turn West, not East. Use Map Quest if you have to. Shift Control 5 on this computer.

----

OK, it's a little bit later in the day and here's another way to think about it. It is very easy to say: "Leave Iraq, shore up Afghanistan." It feels less unpatriotic to say that, more like you're really supporting our troops and our country. After all, the Taliban gave a safe haven to Osama bin Laden, and he attacked us, and the Taliban were in Afghanistan, therefore we should be in Afghanistan to protect against a resurgence of the Taliban.

Good men and women, does anyone out there think that American troops can prevent a resurgence of any political or social movement in a foreign country, whether we like it or not? Let's put it another way.

Some significant percentage of Americans will not vote for Barack Obama because he isn't white. Why do they feel that way? There are any number of historical reasons, but the bottom line is they feel that way because they do.

If troops came into every city and onto every farm in America, and gave out free food and jobs and chocolate bars, and tried to build the occasional school, would these actions change the way these people feel?

In 1968, if police had arrested everyone who supported, say, George Wallace, would the people who felt that way have changed their minds? Could it not also be posited that they would simply have hardened their attitudes?

Most importantly, it's 2008. In 2008 it does not take too many hardened crazies like Timmy McVea or the Unibomber to create havoc on this planet. If you cannot stop them with your own police in your own culture, how in the world do you expect to deter them with foreign soldiers who do not even speak the local language?

Bottom line: do we want to occupy the whole world? Do we want to try and be Rome? We could try. Should we?

It is Plotnik's opinion that it is wiser to clean up our own wilderness and give the world an example to follow. We can only waste our fortune and our soldiers, and can gain little short-term and absolutely nothing long-term trying to be peacemakers in Arab or other Muslim lands. Think about that when you hear Mickey and O talking about pouring resources into Afghanistan.

If we have to occupy somewhere, how about Hawaii? They've got beautiful flowers, we could have a parade.