A Schnapps for Ol' Fred Ebb

Ooooh, it's fun to see a great 'Cabaret' in a small theater. You've got until September 20 to see this one at SF Playhouse. You can read the San Francisco Theater Blog review here, and remember to sit in the front and order at least one glass of strong red. Come blow your horn, start celebrating. Right this way, your table's waiting.

Sure, WE know that you can buy a bottle of Fat Cat Zinfandel at Trader Joe's for $4.95 that costs you $6 a glass at the theater, but so what? You cling to that wine like Linus to his blanket and God help Snoopy if he tries to yank it.

Yes, WE know the cast acts better than it sings and sings better than it dances, but so what? These are tiny flaws when compared to the power of sitting up close and smelling the flowers of that long ago world that was so deserving -- Berlin is dead, and we don't mean Irving.

OK, from Plotnik to the master: the late and lamented Fred Ebb. His most famous song is "New York, New York," but try this one on for size, from "Money Makes the World Go 'Round":

If you haven't any coal in the stove
And you freeze in the winter
And you curse on the wind at your fate
When you haven't any shoes on your feet
And your coat's thin as paper
And you look thirty pounds underweight.
When you go to get a word of advice
From the fat little pastor
He will tell you to love evermore.
But when hunger comes a rap,
Rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat at the window
See how love flies out the door...

Money makes the world go 'round
The world go 'round, the world go 'round
Money makes the world go 'round
That clinking, clanking sound
It makes the world go 'round.

Or, from 'Chicago':

Razzle Dazzle

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bread and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?

What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting ?
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll never catch wise!

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous
Row after row will grow vociferous
Give 'em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture 'em
How can they hear the truth above the roar?

Throw 'em a fake and a finagle
They'll never know you're just a bagel,
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll beg you for more!