First It's Carne Asada. Then You Hit the Harder Stuff.

Something is happening to The Great Plotnik, and that something is taco trucks. Although he promises he will never attempt to do what his idol Bandini did for several years running down in Stiletto City, Plotnik understands the lure of the loncheria, the siren song of the asada, the miracle of the masa and the jappiness of the jalapenos.



Is this how addictions get started? Do a few harmless tacos al pastor always lead down the never ending road -- to blogging about them? And from one or two days a week to every day of the week, to every taco truck in Saint Plotniko, and then why only Saint Plotniko? What about Smokeland and Beserkely and Palo Shmalto and Mill Valley? OK, forget about Mill Valley.

And, anyway, what's so good about a taco truck?

For one thing, the tacos are cheaper than in a restaurant, though they're also almost always smaller. Of course, the restaurants are furious, because taco trucks don't have to comply by the same tough standards as restaurants do, and there's never any way to really know what you're eating, and you're not going to question the guy serving you because he's got half a dozen earrings and more tattoos than the Mexican Navy. On the other hand, the consumer doesn't have to pay for the restaurant's rent and health care plan.

At Plot and Duck's favorite taqueria restaurant, El Taco Loco on Mission and 29th, the carnitas are incomparably good, better than any taco truck's carnitas (so far), and you also get half again as much meat and can choose from three delicious salsas, plus rajas, rabanos and even fresh carrot juice if you want. Plotnik LOVES the carnitas at El Taco Loco. $5 for two.

You couldn't eat more than two, because they're large, and carnitas don't have good cholesterol or bad cholesterol, they have Carnitas Cholesterol. Eating three carnitas tacos from El Taco Loco would be like swallowing rubber cement and then rubbing it on your carotid artery. Even addicts must be sensible.

But El Ploto also LOVES the pastor at El Tonayense Taco Truck Number One. $4 for two. You could eat three.

The grilled chicken is delicious at El Tonayense Taco Truck Number Two. $3.50 for two. Three would be no problem.

Nothing stands out at Los Compadres Taco Truck Number 4, but what would you expect? It's next door to City Hall. You think Mayor Newsom knows the difference between buche and tripas?



Los Compadres is very economical, though: $3 for two but NO jalapenos. That's the cheap part. But you get to sit at an outside table on a comfortable chair across the street from City Hall, listening to the, ah, street merchants attempting to make America strong again by blatant commerce.

"(hic) You wanna...these watches...you wanna...(hic)?

"Go away."

"These are (hic) Two thousand dollars...watches! You can (hic) have all three for (belch) ten bucks."

"I geeving you five."

"OK."

So the three guys at the table next to Plotnik each get a taco and a watch. The taco was a buck and a half and the watch was $1.67. You don't get a deal like that at El Taco Loco. Plus, America is back on its feet.