The Great Plotnik

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Saab is Still in Snowy Valley



The Saab is still here. It's a complete mystery.

The guy drove all the way down from Tahoe to see the car. He drove it. It sounded great, handled great. It felt like a sale -- except on the freeway he kept the car in third gear and revved it way up, going more than 60mph in third.

So when he drove back up to the house and Plot expected him to at least haggle about the price, he said: "Sorry, I'm going to take a pass."

"What? Why? Is there something wrong with the car?"

"No, no, I just don't have a good feeling about this."

Plot stared at him. Thinking back about it now, he should have just opened the door and pushed the dude out onto the street.

"The turbo sounds funny, man. I think I'm going to have trouble down the line with this car."

Plot should have said "Why don't you try shifting gears once in awhile, if you don't want to hear the engine whine?" ... but he didn't. He should have.

Either way, the car would still be here. And it is.

Then, to make matters worse, when Plot called PD to tell him the unfortunate news, PD reported that their stereo was stolen out of their car last night on the street in Brooklyn. It's the kind that can't even be used without a special code -- so not only did the bastard steal the stereo but he probably can't even sell it. Just what you need: a stupid thief. They at least ought to know what they're doing.

It's the yin and yang of The Big Shmapple. In other cities, you tend to live in the emotional middle -- you do your thing, you work, you come home, nothing much happens one way or the other. But the Shmapple isn't like that. You see fabulous theater and concerts, you eat in spectacular restaurants, you rub shoulders with humanity at its best -- and then the freezing wind blows right up your sleeves and the subway breaks down and somebody steals your stereo.

It's never nothing. It's always one way or the other. That's why we love it. That's why we hate it.

Plot still doesn't get why the dude didn't buy the car. There's nothing wrong with the car. It must be Plotnik. Maybe this is a car a kid ought to be selling to another kid. He's thinking he did something wrong and he doesn't know what it is.

3 Comments:

At 3:57 PM, Blogger mary ann said...

Hmmmmm, 'tis a puzzle about the Saab. Drat.

 
At 5:51 PM, Blogger notthatlucas said...

This is bizarre. If he suspected some mysterious turbo problem lurking in the future, why wouldn't he have at least tried to get the price down?

My guess is that he was in the Bay Area to try out half a dozen cars, and had already made his mind up on some other car, but didn't want to tell you that because he gets off on winding people up.

 
At 9:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

During a garage sale, I once sold a perfectly fine, working vacuum cleaner to a nice man who was delighted to pay just five dollars.

And then he came back about an hour later, lugging the vacuum, and askedif he could return it because his mother-in-law said it was haunted.

I would have paid five dollars just to be part of that odd little tale (plus, who wants to set a man against his mother-in-law?), so I cheerfully refunded his money. (Later I gave the vacuum to a friend who assures me it picked up dust and emitted no demons while she had it.)

You just never know.

 

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